Story By: Saekwon “SenSae” Williams
Ceramic tosses of anguish into a pool of youth. Sad sashaying into a new tomorrow, without a doubt and undesirable. That’s how my love feels.
It’s hard and cold until I’m young again. It’s slow sorrowful moon walking into the distance of your heart. It’s never wanted. Fighting for a new addiction, waiting for an new pass at the funniest game I’ve ever played. Love. Until her heart is healed I will be revealing the different textures of obsession. Not a very flattering word i know but it’s what I was told by the higher soul. I’m slowly allowing her to become exactly like the others in the sense that I can’t stop loving her. We are past the threshold for return, we are zooming through the inner working of greatness at this point. Maybe that’s the point. To find someone to get lost with. To endlessly drift into the consumption of one another. BAM. Shot. Blood. In more than one word I was wounded. The thought of loving another was beautiful and passionate. Riding the wave of poetry thinking that shit was real. Bullshit. I fucking hate her. I never thought I could hate anyone but I fucking hate her. All she does is invade my thoughts, when it’s dark. All she does is put my knows in all my business what am I a dog? I want to leap but fuck a frog I’m a man. I fucking hate her for allowing me to be there for her. For allowing me the chance to fuck up another life other than mine. But I asked for it. I want her more than I want myself. I’m not worried about the prerequisite as long as I can get in class. I’m not worried about those pants as long as I can get in you past. Be more than your last. Writing my emotions down helps me cope with the fact that I’m a pussy. Not just cause I’m a Leo but also because I’m only vocal when nobody can hear me. That’s why I fucking hate her. Except I don’t lol honestly. I love her so much. I can never tell her how much I actually love her. I haven’t even said I love you to her yet from fear of scaring her away. But I do. I fucking love her. That’s why I hate her fucking guts. I’ll rearrange them more so I can get closer to where her heart lies. Fuck lies and caution I’m trying to see fast cars in Baghdad Nahh pause. I wanna see her face and fast jets when I awaken from my thoughts. I just want to be her one and only never lonely and never alone. Forever will I never fall. Forever curve through my psyche until I return. From the past. At last I love her. I could never hate my love I was trying to creep past myself to get back to her. What I meant to say is I love. Her. Her smile her tears. Everything that isn’t fear I love. Her flaws are mine and her heart. I dare you to try and take it. It will be your last day. Emotions I felt when I didn’t think about kitties
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